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Insights from a Chinese Girl: Break-up with a Chinese Girlfriend

Have you ever heard a similar breakup story like this from your mate?

It goes like this…

My ex and I broke up because she felt threatened when I introduced her to a friend of mine – a very attractive one.

Although nothing had ever happened between us, some Chinese girls expect to be the only woman in their partner’s life.


We broke up because I felt frustrated when my girlfriend’s lack of trust caused her to perceive things that were not there.

I was not accustomed to having to prove my loyalty to a partner.

Honesty and respect are essential elements in any relationship, and in this case, I felt they were missing.

What is After the Break Up?

With the grown-up ones, you would travel to the other’s home to gather your items and talk to ensure that the split was final.

With the insecure and hysterical type, the show just starts…

A Trashed Apartment

I thought I had found the one, so I gave her a key to my apartment.

But things took a turn when I told her we took time before rushing into buying a house and a car.

She accused me of cheating, not serious about the future and broke up with me on the spot.

The next day, I came home to find my stuff scattered outside and my apartment trashed.

Clothes thrown everywhere, TV smashed.

She had made a copy of the key and destroyed everything in a fit of rage.

It was a nightmare.


After we broke up, she started showing up at my apartment at 2 am, pounding on the door and screaming.

The police were called multiple times. She even showed up at my work, harassing me and my colleagues and accusing female staff of flirting with me.

She demanded that my manager fire me.

She bombarded me with text messages and phone calls. I had to change my phone number.

At this point, you may be wondering…

Why Do Nasty Breakups Happen in China?

Here are the insights you are waiting for a while.

Fixed Mindset

Some Chinese girls think that foreign men coming to China to find girls just for sex or use relationship as an excuse to get laid easily.

As we have a saying in China: 不以结婚为前提的谈恋爱,都是耍流氓 meaning “Dating without the intention of getting married is all just playing around.”

(This sentence is used as a cathcy funny phrase being printed on posters or mugs for boosting the sales.)

When you break up with them, it will only prove that their thinking is right the whole time.

They believe they are the victims and do extreme behaviors just to seek justice for themselves.

Girls Expect To Be Spoiled

1️⃣Most Chinese girls grow up with TV shows or movies that heavily portray the idea that girls should be spoiled and that prince and princesses will eventually live happily ever after.

This belief leaves no room for flaws, leading to an overly idealized pursuit of perfection in their relationships.

2️⃣The one-child policy in China has caused many women to unconsciously expect their partners to love them unconditionally, just like their parents.

And respond to all their requests as a matter of course, due to the interactions they got accustomed to with their parents when they grew up.

Fighting is Acceptable

Chinese women have no problems about displaying their displeasure with a man openly, often hitting him or yelling at him.

(Unfortunately, you will see this often with your bare eyes in subway stations, train stations or just on the street.)

In this situation, it is expected that the man take responsibility for his actions and offer an apology in the hopes of being forgiven.

Culture Difference

In Chinese culture, it is common for relationships to progress more quickly than they might in Western cultures.

When you and a Chinese girl decide to be in a relationship, it is not unusual for love and trust to develop very quickly.

It is not uncommon for a Chinese girl to say ‘I love you’ within the first month or two.

Because relationships can move at a fast pace, it is not surprising that powerful emotions such as anger, betrayal, and jealousy can also be triggered easily.

It is important for any relationship, regardless of cultural background, to be built on a foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect.

How Can You Prevent Nasty Break Ups?

Never say: “Yes, I am a scumbag. I cheat for money, sex, and emotional fulfillment. Forget about me! Don’t contact me again!”

Do you want her to completely feel like this relationship was a conspiracy from the start?

This is easily destabilizing.

Never do: “Cold violence, and then quietly block them.”

Women are very good at finding excuses for themselves, and as long as you are alive, she will always find you to “clear things up.”

And then have a big argument.

What Should You Do Instead?

These are the tips that work for most Chinese girls, if your Chinese girlfriend is a real psychopath and has mental issues. Please seek for special help.

Meanwhile reflect on yourself why were you drawn to these toxic traits from the very beginning.

  • Plan ahead: Consider how you want to break up, and where and when it would be best to do so. It’s important to have a clear idea of what you want to say, and to choose a place that is private and safe.
  • Be firm: It’s important to be firm and clear about your decision to break up. Don’t leave room for interpretation or leave the door open for further communication.
  • Be honest: It’s important to be honest about your feelings, even if it may be difficult. Don’t try to sugarcoat things or make excuses. It’s better to be upfront and honest about why you want to break up.
  • Listen: Allow the other person to express their feelings, and try to listen and understand where they are coming from. It’s important to be respectful and considerate of their emotions.
  • Seek support: Consider seeking the support of a trusted friend or family member, or even a therapist, before and after the breakup. It’s important to have someone to talk to and to help you through this challenging experience.
  • Protect yourself: If you are concerned about the person’s reactions or behavior, consider taking steps to protect yourself. This may include changing your phone number or blocking them on social media.

Learn From Others Stories:

These situations are not common, but they do happen.

Story No. 1

Story No.2

A man was waiting for his visa to be sorted and met a girl who he became close to over WeChat.

She told him she liked him and that she would wait for him.

However, just before he was about to fly to Shanghai to be with her, she told him via WeChat that she had a boyfriend and didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

The man was upset and asked why she didn’t trust him enough to tell him sooner.

She explained that she didn’t want to hurt him, that dating a Chinese man was simpler and easier for her parents to accept, and that communication was more difficult with him.

The man was just a back-up boyfriend.

Final Words:

If you have more stories to share, please write it down below in comment section.

If yourself or your friends are into Chinese girls, share these insights with them.

Frequently Asked Questions:FAQ

It seems lots more break up stories to share here…

How hard was it to break up with your Chinese girlfriends?

It was pretty hard. I tried to couch things in nice terms, but she was very insistent. A lot more stories to share here.

How to talk to girls in China?

It is important to remember that every person is different, and not all people in China will respond the same way to being talked to. That being said, here are a few tips for how to talk to girls in China:

  1. Speak a bit Chinese: sometimes a Ni Hao meaning Hi in Chinese is enough.
  2. Use polite language: Using polite language, such as saying “please” and “thank you,” can go a long way in building a positive rapport.
  3. Show interest in her: Asking questions about her life, interests, and background can help to show that you are interested in getting to know her better.
  4. Be a good listener: Pay attention to what she has to say and try to actively listen to her. This can help to show that you value her thoughts and opinions.
  5. Compliment in details: for example, your dress suits you very well today.
  6. Make her laugh: prepare some jokes or being sarcastic. Do whatever works to make her smile.

Want more detailed instructions? Do not miss reading this article! Click here.✨✨✨

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